woah! look at this bit of craziness!

as if things haven't been crazy enough (thankfully i'm still alive and heather hasn't exploded [yet])... here's a bit of awesome for y'all to attempt to decipher. first, a smidgen of background story.

in high school, i purposefully misspelled things. allllllllllll the time. wrote in lower case, and made circles instead of dots over my i's. tried to have handwriting that was as vertically focused as possible. i wrote tons of poems like this, plus notes to heather, and ten pages letters to my out of town boyfriend. teachers complained about my handwriting, but at least i spelled things properly for them.

sadly, i cannot find my actual high school journals. on the upside, being insanely anal retentive and so sure that i was going to be a 'serious poet' i have copies of every poem before mid-98 re-written in spiral notebooks, printed out (in dot matrix, none the less) and saved TWICE in freakin' wordpad. i was a hot mess back then - holy. fucking. hell. full of angst. epic depressed for no reason. and oddly self-righteous! i can't help but giggle at these when i read over them again.

(waves arms with a great flourish) here y'all go! a poem from my senior year in high school - 1997

ascertaining society
magik want insyde fynds yoo
grasping the key tew mi hart
yoo akuse meeh of xenophobia
i laff in yoor face aynd toss mi books
yoor face burns wyth irascibility
aynd yoo feel enkased in an iron lung
i observe yoo folater for words
as yoo try tew xplane the way yoo are
aynd the way thyngs are tew us all
everywhere i glance there yoo are
red eyes glaring at mi general xistence
yoo as mi society abate mi emotions
aynd attempt tew turn meeh tew normality
i skoff at everydae typical objekts
aynd sprinkle love on yoo tew make yoo melt